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ok. i know i’ve been obsessing and whining but now i’m just plain happy. yes, finally!

i know that given the circumstances and all other factors – it’s apparent that he can’t be mine. but there’s something about us that keeps me happy despite all the impossibilities. there’s the attraction that’s always there. and the smallest signs of interest are enough to inspire me.

plus there’s this one night that i’ll never forget. and i hope it’s special for him too. it was so easy for us to forget that we were mad at each other. was it because we had too much to drink? i think not!

we’ve always liked each other. for more than a year, we’ve noticed each other, almost everyday. it was always nice to see him. and though it’s painful to think he loves another and will be leaving soon, it will always make me smile to know he likes me, gave me his time, and even for just once made me part of him.

I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I never...
I never...
I never...

Obsession (No Es Amor)


(Check check ...this happened for real ...baby bash..yo.. frankie j.... obession)

Its early in the morning
And my heart is really lonely
Just thinkin bout you baby
Got me twisted in the head
And I dont know how to take it
But its driving me so crazy
I dont know if its right
I'm tossin turning in my bed
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And I still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
Weak...
I'm feeling hopeless in my home
I dont know what to do but I think I'm in love
Baby...

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling (what am I doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Now I know you're not my lady I'm just tryin to make this right
I dont know what to do I'm going out of my mind
So baby if u let me could I getchu to say maybe we could ride together
We could do this all nite now I dont care if u got a man
Baby I wish you'd understand
Cuz I kno he cant love u right, quite like I can
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And I still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
Weak...
I'm feeling hopeless at home
I dont kno what to do but I think I'm in love

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?
I love the way u freaky like that
I love the way u freaky like that
I love the way u freaky like that
Its an obsession

[Baby Bash]
Hold up let me dream
Shorty got me feelin less supreme
Where my candy, where my cream
Got your boy feel less supreme
Hold up wait a minute baby you so damn independent
Loving everything your representing
Got alot of money, I love to spend it
And thats whats up and I dont care what people scream
You're my blessin when I'm stressin
My superfly beauty queen
I'm gonna keep it saucy
Cuz my money know how I do, we go rendez-vous, mi corazon belongs to you

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong) what am I do wrong [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
What am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong?) what am I do so wrong? [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Amor

Brian:
Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Brian:
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Brian:
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
dazed and shattered, now it hurts
Brian:
Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
Delta:
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

Brian & Delta:
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Brian:
Cause I know I'm almost here

Brian & Delta:
Only almost here

i never asked for anything in return. i just needed him to know how i felt for him coz it was becoming too much of a burden for me to keep to myself.

turned out, he also liked me. so he decided to be intimate. we had one small kiss. then another. our kisses got longer and more intense. then one day, he said he wanted more. he asked me if i wanted more. of course i did. i said yes.

at first glance it looked mutual. but he never went through. no reasons. i asked but he never gave an answer. well, at first he did. he said he did not want to ruin our friendship. huh? why did he offer it in the first place?

but i really like him. so i played along. whenever he wanted to be with me, i went. and there was a time when i felt really close to him. i thought he was into me as i was into him. he would hold me, look so sweetly at me, tell me flattering words.

but he was never consistent. he would do these things then just so suddenly leave me hanging. and when i get upset he insisted that i was being impulsive.

right now i hate him. i don't want him. i want to stay away. but i know that, like before, i'd fall again. it will only take one call and i'd come. i know it's going to be stupid of me to go back to that routine, but i like him so much not to open myself to possibilities.

i am lost. do i protect myself from getting humiliated again? or is he worth all this?