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he came near. too near it made me melt. just a few inches away from a kiss. i wanted to go ahead. but i was scared. and so the moment ended without a kiss. embarrassment came in me. add frustration. but i did not want him to see me crushed. went ahead like nothing happened.

but i guess he really liked me. one stolen moment, he called and we kissed. unexpected. exciting. inspiring. wow... there was magic. no exaggeration, there really was.

then we kissed and got closer everytime we did. but we both know we cannot kiss forever, or even go beyond. that's what hurts.

but somehow we managed to try and think that we can, to the point that i believed in the illusion. and he played along. and eventually i asked when. of course, he said no. with a bunch of reasons and lies. he hurt me again.

i said a lot of bad things. i showed him how much it hurt. he tried to make me feel better. he couldn't. he let me alone. it hurt even more. then i finally told myself that being distant will only make things worse. i apologized forr what i said, asked to be friends, and we had a chance to talk.

it was hard. embarrassment, frustration, and the fear of hearing the rejection engulfed me while i was telling him how much i wanted him, how much i think he wants me, how much we want to be closer, how much i am willing to be there without expecting. he said he was a very lucky guy.

and i guess i can call myself lucky, too. he said he could play along with me. but he was scared that he might fall. he has liked me since the day i started liking him. he tried to be close for the longest time, but he never tried to be this close, just as i have always tried to watch from my distance. it felt good to know that he can see himself falling for me. it was tempting. can't we fall for each other with the expections? i know i can. but he is far mor sane than i am.

and so there it was. finally, i've understood the man that he is. not too bad. deserving of my admiration and respect. i'm not so happy with the ending but i guess this is the best and the farthest that i can get. no worries, he is still there. hopefully, still there when we are both ready to be for each other.

and i said i am no longer a romantic. did i just contradict myself? well, whatever. life goes on.... and hopefully ends with a smile!

so how do you know if you have finally known the person for what he is, sans the biases and misinterpretations?

i've known this guy to be gentle and ready to listen - 2 things that made me give him a second glance every time i have the chance, makes my spirit smile, my days brighter, all the mushy stuff. i've grown to like him.

til one day, i realized that even this angel has a cunning side. shattered all the good things. shattered my little world. i became distant, to protect myself from getting misled, deceived. but it was hard not to watch from a distance. the illusion still prevailed. i still liked him.

he stopped getting close. i just watched. then a girl came along. and i got hurt.

can't blame him. i stopped. can't blame me. i got hurt. but seeing him with her made me feel that no matter how much i felt deceived, i cannot stand protecting myself and seeing another girl get his affection. it was so painful, so heavy to bear.

was it a blessing that i got to tell him how i felt?

he took it well. smiled and looked so flattered. i was so glad that he was not offended. even asked if i'd get mad if he kissed me. i smiled and covered my face. embarrassed. told i wouldn't want to sin. too vocal? well, he's that open. and i like that. i always did. i still do now.

then what? life went on.....

· If God takes the life that I borrowed right this very moment, I'll ask him one last favor… to bring me back on earth and do one important task, to have a glimpse of you and die again…in your arms this time.

· I guess to have you will never be and I have to accept it even if it hurts me. But there's one thing I'll ask from you and hope it will be ok, will you let me love you until I get over you?

· When someone push you down, I'll be here to pull you up. When someone makes yo u sad, I'll be here to make you smile. When someone says goodbye, I'll be here to stay with you.

· Why can't you feel what I want you to feel? Why can't you do what I want you to do? Why can't you love me now that I'm loving you? But the big question is, why do you keep me falling so much for you?
· Don't stop the tears from falling, I'm here to wipe them dry, here to stop the hurting whenever someone says goodbye. I may not be the person to make the hurting end, but I'd do anything to never see you hurt again.

· There are times when I can't decide if I want to see you or not. I want to see you coz I miss you but there are times when I don't want to. Coz every time I do, the fact that you don't see me the way I see you hurts even more.

· Slowly, you feel me slipping away from you, not because I realized that I don't love you, but because I'm in a place where I'm not supposed to stay. Slowly, I'll be gone, but did you ever knew I was here?

· If my heart is about to break for you, I want it to be broken not into two but into thousand pieces for this heart will never choose to love again if not for you.

· I never intended to be the most important person in your life, that's just too much to ask. But I do hope time would come that I'll cross your mind and you'd smile thinking that I touched your life the way you touched mine.

· Sometimes I'm hurt so much that I just want to run away, run away as far as I could. But you know what really scares me? It's when I look back and I'll see you not following me anymore.

· I miss you when there's no reason, how much more if there was? I miss you even if we talk, how much more if we didn't? I miss you after we're together, how much more if I see you never? I miss you now, how much more later?

· Someday, you'll find someone better than me, someone who'll let you see things that I have never shown you and when that time comes, just don't forget that what I gave you is the best that I have and what I am to you is the best that I am.

· You came to touch me, to comfort, to hold me tight, to care for me, to love me…then I fell for you. But you told me that all you did what was any friend would do.

· Why is it after all this time we've been together, I've never really considered you as a friend? Its not coz I don't want you to be one but because ever since, I've hoped and prayed you will be much more than a friend to me.

· If you need a shoulder to cry on call on me and I'll be there but still I don't wanna see you cry coz every drop of your tear is every wound in my heart.

· Can I ask you something? Can you be there for me when I'm all alone? Can you do something for me? Can you hug me tight and never let you go? Can you do me a favor? Can you love me the way I loved you?

· You won't believe me when I say I like you, but deep inside its true. It's hard to accept the feeling when you have someone else. Giving him your heart, while here I am, still giving you mine.

· Once you think you're sad and lonely, just think that you're with me. Once you think that you're alone, think that I'm here for you to lean on. Once you think that nobody loves you, think again! I exist right?

 · You know what I would never do? I'd never swim the deepest sea, I'd never jump from a tree, I'd never dive from the sky. But there's one thing I would do, I'd do the things I'd never do just for you.

· Here I am, throwing myself at you, hoping that you'll love me too. But then you hold my hand and told me it'll never come true. Though it hurts me more than it used to, I'll still be a fool waiting for you.

· I may not be expressive to tell you I care, I may be foolish and childish in ways and at times you'll get annoyed, but don't be fooled by the moods I wear coz deep down inside I care.· They say you're not the one for me and that I have to set you free. They told me that things would never be the way you want them to be. They can say anything, but what else can they do? Now that I'm already deeply in love with you.

· I hope you know behind my smile, there are tears. Behind my laughters, there are sorrows. I know I'm just a friend to you but I think you ought to know that behind this friendship, there's my love for you.

· Aww… its night again. I never really liked sleeping probably its b ecause every time I close my eyes, I see you, and when I wake up, my eyes are all cried out over you. Coz you were all a dream and it'll always be that way, you… a dream.

· I don't understand the feeling whenever you walk away. But when I see you not around, I always wish you'd stay. But now I've finally realized how foolish I've been, to think there was something else when friendship's all you mean.

· I've been loving you for so long that the pain of not having you has already made me feel numb. I've been trying to fall in love with someone else but why is it that I always end up falling for you?

· I don't know why I keep on loving you despite the fact that I'll get hurt again just like before. I never learn coz I don't want to, not now, no t while I'm still strong to fall for you over and over again.

· If I could, I'll not only catch you but hold you forever, not only stay with you but be with you for a lifetime, not only care for you but love you for the rest of my life… if only I could.

· I'll give you my life, I'll lend you my heart. Just don't disregard this important part, that in this world, there's one thing I'm too weak to do and that's to stop falling in love with you.

· It hurts me to see you alone. Makes me wanna be with you and do everything I can to cheer you up. When the time comes that you feel like needing someone to be beside you, tell me…I want to be the one to stay with you.

· If you want me to stay, I will. If you want me to go, well…ok. But if one day you see me slowly fading, its not because I don't care anymore. It would be fo r one reason, you pushed me away.

· I don't know if I'm a part of you, I'm not sure if you care for me, I can't even tell how much I mean to you. But I want you to know that I almost die just at the thought of losing you.

· Everyday I walk towards you hoping that I'd somehow get to be with you for at least a moment. But it's hard for me to catch up with you if you're also trying to catch up with someone else.

· A lot of people have asked me why I love and I answered back with a quiet smile not because I don't have an answer but because they would never understand.

· I love you but I'm not asking anything in return. I never ask you to care for me, to think of me or even to love me. But I can't remember, did I ever ask you to hurt me?

· For many times I've said I would not love you anymore and yet everytime I lay my eyes on you, my heart starts to state this silent words which says I'm still not over you.

· I can't afford to lose you coz I care for you. If you'd be gone in my life, I'm sure I wouldn't be even half as strong as I thought I could because you're the only meaning life has meant for me.

· It's hard to lose someone who has become a part of your life, someone you've learned to love and can't live without. That's why when you came into my world, there's one thing left to pray…that you'll never go away.

· If I count how many times you've crossed my mind in my entire life, I'd be lying if I said it was too many. Coz you only crossed my mind once, why? Coz you never left it.

· If I could wish and make it come true, that's to spend my life with you. If I could speak to let you know, that's to say I love you so. If I could hold you and let it still, that's to embrace you and love you for real.

· If the words "I like you" isn't enough, can I say "I love you" instead? If "I miss you" isn't enough, can I say "I need you" instead? But what if I say "You" being a friend isn't enough, can you just be mine?

· Loving you secretly is a hard thing for me to do, hoping, wondering, wishing that you'll feel the same way too, but I can't read your mind if you love me too. But whatever it is I'll still be loving you.

· Have you ever wondered why sometimes looking at your crush makes you hurt inside instead of making you happy? Because you know that it will always be that way looking at him without him knowing.

· I'd give up my happiness so you could have yours. I'd give up my life so you could live yours. I'd give up eternity just to be with you but there's one thing I'll never give up and that would be you.

· The hardest part of loving is when you can only view the person you love from a distance and not being able to hold his hand, embrace him tight coz for him you're only his friend.

· There is a reason for everything; a reason to give, a reason to live, a reason to love. But if you can't find a reason to smile, please let me be your reason, even just for a while.

· Love doesn't count on the laughter that you shared but the number of tears and pain that you try to get over with for the sake of holding on.

· Don't believe in courtship, it's just a waste of time, if I love a person, I'll tell her right away, but for you I'll make an exemption, just love me now, and I'll court you forever.

· There are so many stars in the sky, only some are radiant enough to be noticed. Among those you choose to ignore is the one willing to shine for you forever even if your glance remains elsewhere.

· Love is when you tell someone bad about yourself and you're scared he won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only does he still love you, he loves you even more.

· Why say "Hi" if you mean to say "I miss you"? Why say "Let's go out" if you mean to say "I wanna be with you"? Why say "Stay" if you can say "Be with me"? Why say "I care" when you're heart says "I love you"?

· I hired a sky writer to write how much you mean to me but I came up with an eensy weensy problem, the sky is not big enough.

· When I saw you, I was afraid to look at you. When I looked at you, I was afraid to touch you. When I touched you, I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you.

· Until there was you, I cried myself to sleep. While I have you, I fell asleep with a gentle smile on my face. Before I lost you, I worried myself to sleep. Now that I know you're gone, I sit up at night, waiting for you to com e back.

· True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows; the more you suppress it, the more it grows.

· Love is not about "It's your fault" but "I'm sorry". Not "Where are you?" but "I'm right here". Not "How could you?" but "I understand". Not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."

· It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

· Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

· Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it.

· If you live to be a hundred, I want to live a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

· When I get tired of making you realize that I'm here loving you, tired of pushing myself to you, tired of hoping that you'll love me too and I have to let go, will you then realize my worth?

· Before I go to sleep, you know what I do? I think of you and when it's my lucky night, I dream of you, I don't want to wake up because when I do, you know what? I just start missing you.

· If you really love someone, put a circle around their name, not a heart, because a heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever.

· Loving someone who doesn't love you is like reaching for a star, you know you'll never reach it but you just got to keep trying.

· I want to say I don't care but my heart says I do. I wa nt to say I don't miss you but I really do. I want to say I can live without you but now I'm dying just to be with you.

· When my days are dark and I feel blue, can I ask something? Can I think of you? It's the only way I could get through because it's nice to know that I have you.

· If I had the letters "HRT" I can add the letters "EA" and get a HEART or add the letter "U" and get HURT. But I'd rather have "U" and get HURT then have a HEART without "U".

· If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.

· I could never regret loving you although you don't love me anymore because I know that you once did and that is the most wonderful feeling because I never thought that I deserved your love.

I was browsing some of the profiles of the people in my Friendster network and I saw this. It is a very inspiring writing about a woman I deem as realistic, reflective, and empowering - a woman I wish I could be like some day.

I love life and try to grasp every part of it as much as I can, immersing myself in every situation, involving myself in every person I meet, sometimes too much that I lose myself, or risk too much that it hurts.

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I will tell you that there have been no failures in my life. I don't want to sound like some metaphysical queen, but there have been no failures. There have been some tremendous lessons....

..... and I've learned to keep myself reserved for those things that are deserving of my attention. I don't get distracted by or caught up in things that are not edifying or uplifting to myself or to those in my world. I keep my affection closely guarded and never freely tosses them to the wind. I've soar above negativity and other people's trivial opinions. I know where I'm going and what I want. I mind my own business. I know who I am and I understand my worth.
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